Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Randomize
