You really coming over, don't trick.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
