My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
