I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
