He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
