She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize