Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we made out on top of his cat.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
