You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
