That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
