And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
