I need help removing her.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
