i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
