why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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