Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Come share oat with me in your robe
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
