Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sext me about skeletons
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
