he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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