I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
