god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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