wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
