I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
