I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
sarcasm needs its own font
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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