i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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