i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
