absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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