The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
