wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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