I heard we made out
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
