How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
