I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
