Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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