So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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