I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
