oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
