Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
