My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
