Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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