Yo dont text me then not text me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
