there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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