I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
