in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
