i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
