her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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