I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
smell my finger.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
