Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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