We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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