After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
