that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Be still, my beating vagina.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
