I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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