what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
