Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
