Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
