we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
